The success hack you'll actually ignore
sent by F R E D V A N R I P E R | February 9, 2025
“What’s the secret to finally getting my wife to listen to me?”
A client asked me this recently during a 1:1 coaching call.
I paused, knowing my answer wouldn’t be the one he wanted to hear.
Because the truth is, there’s no secret at all.
The couples who communicate well—the ones who feel like they’re truly heard and understood—aren’t doing anything flashy. They’re just doing the small, boring things consistently.
But most people love a good shortcut—some secret hack that changes everything overnight. Whether it's a new tool, a fresh strategy, or the latest life-changing tip, we’re constantly on the lookout for that elusive thing that’ll make all the difference.
I see this all the time in my DMs and coaching calls:
“How do I get her to respect me?”“What’s the one thing that will fix our relationship dynamic?”“How do I stop feeling like everything falls on me?”
And the real answer is never some magic trick.
It’s clarity. It’s consistency.
It’s learning how to express your needs without defensiveness. It’s showing up every day as the partner, father, and leader you want to be—not just when things feel easy, but especially when they don’t.
The best communicators aren’t the ones with the best lines or the perfect strategy.
They’re the ones who do the work—even when it feels like nothing is changing.
Most people won’t commit to that.
But here’s the truth: The most powerful success hack is one most people ignore. Not because it’s hidden. Not because it doesn’t work.
But because it’s boring.
The real hack isn’t some flashy trick. It’s the basics—done consistently.
1 Skill: Consistency Over Complexity
Most people chase novelty.
They want the latest tool, the newest strategy, the next big thing. But real success—whether in business, relationships, or leadership—isn’t about finding that magic shortcut. It’s about showing up and executing the basics, day in and day out.
The best communicators? They don’t have secret tricks. They don’t rely on some magic formula. They just practice the fundamentals relentlessly.
The best partners? They don’t wait for grand romantic gestures or perfect moments. They prioritize daily connection, consistently showing up for each other.
The secret isn’t complexity; it’s consistency.
Why Warren Buffett Swears by This Approach
Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors of all time, attributes much of his success to one simple habit: reading for hours every day.
It’s not flashy. It’s not some secret formula. It’s just a relentless commitment to learning, thinking, and making informed decisions—over and over again.
He once said, “The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”
The people winning—whether in business, relationships, or leadership—aren’t necessarily smarter or more talented.
They just commit to the work others avoid.
1 Mindset Shift: Boring Is the Shortcut
What feels “boring” is often the real shortcut—because it removes friction and builds unstoppable momentum. The secret is in the repetition, the little things that accumulate over time and compound into massive success.
When you embrace the “boring” basics and make them automatic, success starts to feel effortless.
1 Action Step: Pick Your One Non-Negotiable
This week, I want you to pick one small habit that, if done consistently, would create outsized results for you.
Maybe it’s a 10-minute check-in with your partner every morning. Maybe it’s writing 200 words every morning before you check your email.
Whatever it is, make it simple and non-negotiable. Then, set a system to make it automatic.
That’s the trick: remove every possible barrier that might stop you from showing up. Make it part of your routine, so you don’t even have to think about it.
Why This Matters
The simple things are easy to do, and just as easy not to do.
The best hack? Doing what works—every day, without fail.
Most won’t do it. Will you?
