The gift only you can give this season

sent by F R E D V A N R I P E R | December 22, 2024

It's the time of year when two things are in full swing: holiday chaos and the buzz around goal-setting season.

Soon enough, everywhere you look people will be talking of resolutions and the "new year, new me" mindset. It's exciting... but let's be real. Most of us know how this story goes.

Studies show that 88% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions by February. Why?

They set unrealistic or overly ambitious goals.
They go too hard, too fast, without a sustainable plan.
They lose motivation because their goals don’t truly align with their values or what really matters to them.

It’s not a failure of discipline—it’s a failure of design.

But here’s the thing: goal-setting doesn’t have to be this way. This time of year can also be about something deeper—something that goes beyond external benchmarks or idealized timelines.

It’s a season to reflect on what you’re carrying forward, what you’re ready to let go of, and how you can move into the new year with clarity and intention.

That’s where the Holiday Contract comes in.

Oprah Winfrey’s Communication Secret

Oprah is known for being fiercely intentional with her time and energy.

When asked how she stays centered during chaotic seasons, she shared:

‍
"Before I say ‘yes’ to anything, I ask myself, ‘What’s the intention behind this?’ If it doesn’t align with my goals, values, or purpose, I let it go.”

This practice has not only helped her build an empire but also maintain a strong sense of peace and focus.

Why it works: Neuroscience shows that aligning actions with core values reduces cognitive dissonance—the mental tension that arises when your actions conflict with your beliefs. This alignment strengthens follow-through and reduces stress—exactly what the Holiday Contract is designed to do.

1 Skill: Create Your Holiday Contract

Think of the Holiday Contract as a personal agreement with yourself. It’s not about limiting joy or spontaneity—it’s about making conscious choices for what you’ll uphold and what you’ll release.

Here’s how to create yours:

Reflect on the season: What traditions, events, or interactions bring you energy? Which ones feel like obligations or drain you?
Set boundaries with care: Decide what you’ll say “yes” to, and where a “no” will protect your time, energy, or peace of mind.
Clarify your priorities: Instead of trying to do everything, choose what matters most to you this season.

Leaders who prioritize with intention create stronger teams and inspire trust. By modeling clarity, you give others permission to do the same.

Writing it down can make it real. Your contract doesn’t have to be fancy—it could even be a quick note in your phone. What matters is that it becomes your guide when you’re tempted to overextend yourself.

1 Mindset Shift: Boundaries Aren’t Barriers—They’re Bridges

It’s easy to think of boundaries as a way to keep people or responsibilities out. But in reality, they’re a tool to keep what matters most in.

When you honor your limits—whether it’s declining another holiday party, carving out time to rest, or sticking to healthy habits—you’re giving yourself the bandwidth to show up fully for the moments that count.

Elite leaders understand that boundaries aren’t about avoidance; they’re about intention. They protect your ability to lead with clarity, focus, and purpose. (I wrote a separate post about this here: Boundaries: Bridges, not Barriers)

1 Action Step: Use the Rule of Three

To wrap up this year intentionally, try this simple exercise:

One win to celebrate: What’s something you accomplished or experienced this year that you’re proud of?
One lesson learned: What challenge taught you something valuable?
One change for the new year: What’s one realistic, meaningful shift you’d like to make in 2025?

Write these answers down somewhere you’ll revisit them—maybe in your Holiday Contract.

Reflecting on wins and lessons strengthens your confidence, while small, actionable goals set you up for consistent progress.

The Bottom Line

As you navigate the rest of this holiday season and look toward the new year, remember this: you don’t need to do it all.

The most powerful gift you can give yourself—and those you love—is clarity.

By reflecting on what truly matters, setting boundaries, and aligning your actions with your values, you’ll enter 2025 with more than a list of goals. You’ll enter with a sense of purpose.

And that’s the hallmark of great leadership.

So before the year ends, take a moment.

Reflect.

Reset.

And rewrite the story of what goal-setting can look like for you.

Here’s to a season of intention, peace, and growth.

‍