The Elephant Has Left The Room
There's an elephant in your room, and it's heavy.
If you don't see it, you're not alone.
If you feel it but can't get rid of it, you're not alone either.
Here's the thing about elephants: our relationships would thrive if we could emulate their behaviors rather than having them invisibly lingering in our homes.
The invisible, ongoing mental and emotional labor involved in managing a household, family and relationship IS the elephant.
It's likely living rent-free in your home, taking up space and creating strain.
So, how can you get this beast of burden to leave so you can excitedly scream "The Elephant Has Left The Room!" Or, more realistically, how can you and your partner quietly acknowledge its presence and work together to make it go away?
While this elephant isn't visible, its effects are undeniable: stress, anxiety, arguments, imbalance, misalignment.
Lack of space, lack of oxygen, the weight, the pressure . . .
If you're struggling with relationship issues and don't address the imbalance of the mental and emotional load, the elephant will remain.
Today, I urge you to acknowledge the elephant, recognize it's impact, and take action to evict it.
Let's dig in.
Be Like An Elephant (Don't Live With It!)
We want the elephant to disappear from our homes, but we can also learn from their admirable qualities to enrich our relationships.
Here are a few amazing elephant traits to consider inserting into your relationship:
- Playfulness. Elephants engage in playful behavior daily. Introducing more playfulness into your relationship can reduce stress, enhance connection, and bring more joy into your life.
- Empathy. Elephants are sentient beings. They are known to comfort each other, especially during times of distress. Practice active & reflective listening, provide emotional support, and validate your partner's feelings to strengthen your bond.
- Communication. Elephants excel at recognizing visual cues and discern the emotional states of their herd members. By improving your communication skills, increasing self-awareness, and collaborating on problem-solving, you can enhance relational harmony.
Adopt these traits to enrich your relationship, and evict the weight of the metaphorical elephant.
3 Point Eviction Plan
Here's your 3 Point Advantage:
1. Expose the Elephant
You cannot remove something without first acknowledging its existence.
Knowledge alone isn't power; it's potential power. True acknowledgement requires unveiling the truth and bringing the metaphorical elephant in the room into view.
For many couples, extending an invitation to the table without judgment can be one of the most challenging steps.
When mental load goes unseen and unaddressed, it leads to burnout, resentment, and imbalance.
To unlock the potential power of knowledge and expose the elephant, you need to seek resources with an open mind.
Resistance is a form of information. Often, it's our egos that hinder our personal, professional, and relational growth.
If you're interested in resources to help you through this process, just reply to this email -- I read every message and respond personally.
2. Implement a New System
The Fair Play framework revolutionizes relationship equity.
In any successful partnership, whether business or personal, both partners must play crucial roles and share the load.
Fair Play offers the language, visibility, and accountability needed to achieve this balance.
Are you ready to move beyond a guessing game filled with unclear rules and lingering resentments? Imagine a game where roles are defined, responsibilities are shared, and both partners feel valued and understood.
It's time to implement a system that makes this vision a reality.
3. Open the Door
The elephant remains in the room because the door to your relational growth is closed.
Sometimes, all it takes is to open that door.
Give yourself - and your partner and relationship - permission to take up more space and do hard things together.
As Alan Watts said, "You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."
So, you haven't been the best partner or parent? That's okay. You can choose to start improving at any moment.
If it's time to confront yourself, do it. If you need support (which many people do), seek it out. That's a sign of strength.
You can hire me or another coach, attend counseling, read books, listen to podcasts, journal, or have a tough conversation with your partner.
The most critical step is to take action, harnessing the power of the knowledge you gain about mental and emotional load.
Whether it's a small or big step, commit to one daily action towards relational growth. Remember, "Where focus goes, energy flows." (Tony Robbins).
With each action, the door opens wider.
Not sure where to begin? Download my FREE "Relationship Rescue Kit: 3 Practices to Recenter Your Relationships"
Conclusion
Flip the switch.
You've probably heard people suggest that change is as simple as flipping a switch, only to find it's not that easy. This often sets us up for disappointment.
Next week, I'll introduce a new perspective on this concept - one that will significantly aid your personal and relational growth journey.
In the meantime, unburden yourself: commit to one action this week that will help you start addressing the elephant in your room. Aim to reach the point where you can confidently declare (at any volume) "The Elephant Has Left the Room."
See you next week.
Inward . . .
P.S. When you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:
- Book a FREE 45-Minute "Impact Session": Have a problem you want to chat about? Need some outside perspective? Get coaching or ask for advice, or just simply learn more about my 1:1 coaching or Men's Groups ... FREE with nothing to offer except the highest value and insights. No selling whatsoever on this call.
- Listen to the Dads Interrupted podcast (this is the Apple podcasts link): Every episode of Dads Interrupted aims to provide a sense of community in the challenges and triumphs of fatherhood and relationships. Through vulnerable but relatable stories, the goal is to help add value to your life and relationships in some small way. We'd love to have you join us.
- Schedule a consult call for 1:1 Coaching: I'm not a salesperson. I am a coach looking to make an impact. I'll chat to see what problem(s) you're facing, and if I can help you, I will. If I cannot, I feel it is my job to guide you in the right direction or introduce you to someone I know who can, if that's best for you. Schedule this call if you're serious about improving your relationships and want to see if we're a fit.
