Co-leadership For A Happier Home

I was reading through posts in a dads support group last week on Facebook.

Most of the posts are dads sharing something they struggle with and other dads offering their wisdom.

You can imagine some of the "wisdom" is not great in large groups like this, so discernment is necessary.

Nonetheless, I try to offer my best insights in the group from time to time.

One of the posts mentioned an issue of differing parenting strategies, and I offered up my take on the importance of compromise and co-leadership to forge new agreements with your partner.

I did not expect one dad to tell me this:

"There are no successful, stable organizations in the world with co-leaders. There is always one leader."

Hmm.

I have to admit, it got me thinking. Is that true?

We weren't talking companies, but I wondered...

Do any successful organizations using a co-leadership model?

And if so, is it working?

Finally, should couples operate with one leader or as co-leaders?

Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, notes that "your home is your most important organization."

I had to dig deeper.

Let's dig in.

Organizations Using Co-Leadership Models

Turns out it didn't take me long to confirm that some organization called Netflix has been using a co-CEO model since 2020.

Yet, only 7 of the Fortune 500 companies use a co-leadership model... a mere 1.4%.

Not exactly off the charts in popularity.

For comparison, Jo Jorgensen received 1.2% of the national vote in the 2020 presidential election, coming in 3rd place.

And if you never heard of Jo Jorgensen, that may not be helping my cause on the value of co-leadership at home.

But as with most things, this isn't the whole story...

Co-leadership models just started making a "comeback" post-pandemic.

So, will the model continue to be adopted by more organizations, or is it a passing "trend" that will fizzle out?

It's interesting to note that when Reed Hastings stepped down as co-CEO of Netflix in January 2023, Netflix appointed Greg Peters to assume the role, continuing to bet on the co-leadership model.

But this doesn't mean it's working, or that its best.

Like every model, there are pros and cons.

Co-leadership pros:

1. Diverse perspectives
2. Shared Responsibilities
3. Enhanced Problem-Solving
4. Continuous Leadership

Co-leadership cons:

1. Potential for Conflict
2. Slower decision-making
3. Potential for ambiguity in roles & responsibilities
4. Risk of diluted authority

Let's see what else is trending...

What's Rome Got To Do With It?

Remember the TikTok trend that garnered over a billion views in the fall of 2023 where women would ask the men in their lives how often they thought about the Roman Empire?

Forbes even wrote an article about it.

It turned out their answers were ... surprising.

Well, consider this my attempt to start a new TikTok trend for the Roman Republic.

Why?

It came before the Roman Empire and had a form of co-leadership that lasted for nearly 5 centuries from its establishment in 509 BCE until its transition to the Roman Empire around 27 BCE.

So, they used the co-leadership model, and it worked, until it didn't.

But let's not forget, the Roman Empire collapsed, too. It lasted for, wait for it . . .

nearly 5 centuries.

Hmm.

This does not help us decipher whether co-leadership or centralized leadership is a better model.

It leaves me with more questions than answers.

Does power and control eventually become more centralized because it works better or because it's human nature to want power and control?

And in a relationship with two committed partners, is it really best for one person to lead?

Control Is Overrated

I've talked before about fear and uncertainty.

People crave control to avoid this. But often, control is an illusion.

I believe sustainable partnerships are ones with an equitable share of the leadership roles, the responsibilities, and leveraging both partner's strengths.

Still, in relationships, it is not a one-size fits all.

In fact, in the coaching work I do, I am all about my clients fostering and cultivating the partnership that they want to design and create.

My entire coaching philosophy is based on rejecting societal and familial expectations and writing your own rules of engagement.

A partnership, or organization, is best when it is intentionally designed.

Conclusion

It is my view that co-leadership is the way to go in home organizations, while implementing systems (e.g. Fair Play) and with an emphasis on personal development, open communication and emotional intelligence.

In a true partnership, you work together and share responsibilities equitably.

But ultimately, it comes down to personal preferences.

The best approach is one that aligns with both partners' core values, preferences, and dynamics.

Above all, great partnerships are ones with open, honest communication in which both partners are willing to listen reflectively.

Can there be co-leaders? Yes.

Is it the best model? I think so, but ... well, that's really up to you to decide.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads reading this.